This blog is crafted in response to the task assigned by our professor, Barad Sir. The activity focuses on the use and role of generative AI in translation studies.
In this exercise, I will be using W. B. Yeats's poem "The Second Coming", and Dhruv Bhatt's Gujarati Poem 'Ochintu Koi Mane' for translation, with the assistance of ChatGPT and Gemini.
"The Second Coming" by W. B. Yeats Original Poem
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
Translation With the Help of ChatGPT
Hindi Translation
घूमते-घूमते चौड़े वृत्त में
बाज़ सुन नहीं पाता बाज़बाज़ को;
सब बिखर रहा है; केंद्र नहीं संभलता;
सिर्फ अराजकता है, जो दुनिया पर हावी है,
खून से भरी ज्वार उठ चुकी है, और हर जगह
निर्दोषता की रस्में डूब रही हैं;
सर्वश्रेष्ठ में विश्वास की कमी है, जबकि सबसे बुरे
उत्तेजक तीव्रता से भरे हुए हैं।
निश्चय ही कोई रहस्योद्घाटन पास है;
निश्चय ही 'दूसरा आगमन' पास है।
'दूसरा आगमन'! मुश्किल से ये शब्द निकले ही हैं
कि 'स्पिरिटस मुंडी' की विशाल छवि
मेरी दृष्टि को विचलित कर देती है: कहीं रेगिस्तान की रेत में
एक आकृति, सिंह की देह और मनुष्य का सिर,
धूप जैसी बेरहम और खाली दृष्टि के साथ,
धीरे-धीरे अपने भारी पाँव हिला रही है, और उसके चारों ओर
क्रोधित रेगिस्तानी पक्षियों की छायाएँ घूम रही हैं।
अंधकार फिर से गिरता है; लेकिन अब मैं जानता हूँ
कि बीस सदियों की कठोर निद्रा
एक झूलती हुई पालना के द्वारा दुःस्वप्न में बदल गई थी,
और वह कौन सा खुरदरा जानवर, जिसका समय अब आ ही गया है,
बेथलहम की ओर झुकता हुआ जन्म लेने जा रहा है?
Gujrati Translation
ફરતી અને ફરતી વિશાળ ચક્રમાં
ફાલકન પોતાના પાળકને સાંભળી શકતો નથી;
વસ્તુઓ તૂટે છે; કેન્દ્ર કાયમ રહી શકતું નથી;
માત્ર અનાર્કી છે, જે દુનિયાને જકડી રહી છે,
રક્તથી ધૂંધળું પ્રવાહ છૂટી ગયું છે, અને દરેક જગ્યાએ
પવિત્રતાની વિધિ ડૂબી રહી છે;
શ્રેષ્ઠ લોકો વિશ્વાસથી વંચિત છે, જ્યારે નરાધમ
પ્રચંડ ઊર્જાથી ભરાયેલા છે।
ખાતરી છે કે કોઈ મોટા રહસ્યનો ખુલાસો નજીક છે;
ખાતરી છે કે 'બીજું આગમન' નજીક છે।
'બીજું આગમન'! આ શબ્દો બોલાયા જ છે
કે 'સ્પિરિટસ મુંડી' માંથી એક વિશાળ ચિત્ર
મારી નજરને ગભરાવી દે છે: ક્યાંક રેતીના રણમાં
એક આકાર, સિંહનું શરીર અને માનવીનું માથું,
સૂર્ય જેવી કઠોર અને શૂન્ય નજર સાથે,
ધીમે-ધીમે તેની મંદ ગૂંદ એ હલાવે છે, અને તેની આસપાસ
પ્રક્ષુબ્ધ રણના પંખીઓની છાયો ઘૂમે છે।
અંધકાર ફરીથી ઝૂકીને આવે છે; પણ હવે હું જાણું છું
કે પથ્થર જેવી ઊંઘની વીસ સદી
એક ઝૂલતા ઝુલાના કારણે ડરામણી સ્વપ્નમાં બદલાઈ ગઈ હતી,
અને તે કેવું ખડખડતું પ્રાણી, જેનો સમય હવે આવ્યો છે,
બેથલેહમ તરફ નમતું, જન્મ લેવા જઈ રહ્યું છે?
Analysis
Syntax, Sound, and Metre
Yeats’s free verse gives the poem a loose structure, allowing for flexibility in sentence arrangement. The Hindi translation attempts to preserve this by adjusting sentence order to maintain the original’s flow. However, certain lines, like "The falcon cannot hear the falconer," are difficult to directly translate due to cultural and syntactic differences between English and Indian languages. In Hindi, the syntactic structure "बाज़ सुन नहीं पाता बाज़बाज़ को" is more straightforward, but it might not fully capture the inversion or disruption inherent in the original. This results in a slight loss of the chaotic feeling. The Gujarati translation faces even more difficulty, as it lacks direct equivalents for some key terms like "anarchy," which adds to the overall challenge of preserving the original’s syntax.
The original poem’s assonance, particularly in phrases like "blood-dimmed tide," wasn’t fully captured in either translation, resulting in a less vibrant soundscape. Additionally, the absence of a fixed metre in Yeats’s poem, which could allow for flexible rendering, poses challenges in creating a consistent rhythm in both languages.
Lexicon, Grammar, and Semiotic
Words like “Spiritus Mundi,” “rough beast,” and “blood-dimmed tide” hold deep philosophical and symbolic meanings, but their translation proves difficult. The literal translation into Hindi and Gujarati doesn’t fully capture its menacing, almost mythical essence. The phrase "blood-dimmed tide" lacks the intensity it holds in English, especially in Hindi where "खून से भरी ज्वार लहर" doesn’t seem as violent or apocalyptic as intended. These lexicon choices affect the emotional resonance of the poem.
Both Hindi and Gujarati translations follow their respective syntactic rules, but the challenge is in rendering phrases with subtlety and impact. For instance, the use of passive voice in "the ceremony of innocence is drowned" becomes more difficult in translation. In Hindi, this becomes निर्दोषता की रस्में डूब रही हैं but this translation doesn’t quite carry the same gravitas as the original. Similarly, in Gujarati, the construction of "blood-dimmed tide" doesn't evoke the same visual and visceral effect as it does in English.
Yeats’s poem uses imagery that’s rich in Western symbolic traditions, such as the falcon, the falconer, and Bethlehem. Translating these into Hindi and Gujarati requires interpreting and adjusting for their semiotic value in Indian cultural contexts. The falcon-falconer metaphor, for instance, does not have a direct counterpart in Indian culture. In Hindi, the translation "बाज़ सुन नहीं पाता बाज़बाज़ को" might evoke some sense of separation and loss of control, but the deep cultural symbolism associated with falconry in Western literature is not inherently present. The use of "Bethlehem" as a geographical reference tied to religious significance is kept in transliteration, ensuring its essential meaning remains intact despite cultural differences.
Cultural Connotations and Collocations
Certain words in Yeats’s poem have Judeo-Christian religious connotations, such as “Bethlehem” and “Spiritus Mundi.” These terms were kept in transliterated form in both Hindi and Gujarati to preserve their original essence, but their deep religious implications may not have the same weight in Indian cultural contexts.
Yeats’s collocations, such as “blood-dimmed tide” and “rough beast,” create strong visual and emotional connections in English. These collocations are not easily translatable, as no direct equivalents exist in Hindi and Gujarati that would elicit the same intense reactions. The term “rough beast” in both translations loses the connotation of something mythical and dangerous. The phrase “blood-dimmed tide,” while translated, doesn’t carry the same sense of apocalyptic imagery. In Hindi, "खून से भरी ज्वार लहर" might sound more like a natural event rather than a devastating force, diluting the original’s power.
Challenges and Resolutions
The biggest challenges are related to specific terms like “gyre,” “rough beast,” and “Spiritus Mundi.” These are loaded with philosophical, cultural, and literary significance that doesn’t have easy equivalents in Hindi and Gujarati. Translating “gyre” as “चक्र” or “ચક્ર” retains the idea of a circular movement but doesn’t fully capture the cosmic and cyclical implications of the term.
Words like “Spiritus Mundi” and “Bethlehem” are deeply tied to Western religious traditions. Translating them with full cultural understanding in Indian languages is a challenge, as these terms don’t carry the same weight in Indian contexts. The decision to retain them in transliteration attempts to preserve their original impact, but it also risks losing some contextual significance for non-Western readers.
Phrases like “the falcon cannot hear the falconer” and “blood-dimmed tide” are metaphors that function within a specific Western literary tradition. They require creative interpretation in the target languages to convey similar meanings, but the final translations, especially in Gujarati, struggle to match the original’s emotional depth.
Resolution
For terms like “rough beast” and “blood-dimmed tide,” translators employed interpretative strategies, opting for phrases that evoke similar feelings but may not perfectly match the original’s intensity. In Hindi, the phrase “खून से भरी ज्वार लहर” conveys a sense of violence and chaos but lacks the apocalyptic weight that Yeats’s original conveys.
To preserve the meaning of culturally loaded terms like “Spiritus Mundi” and “Bethlehem,” the translators chose transliteration. This ensures that the terms retain their significance while maintaining the original’s integrity.
Certain phrases were adapted for accessibility without compromising their essence. For example, “the ceremony of innocence is drowned” was adapted to more culturally understandable versions, but the emotional impact of innocence being destroyed remained central.
Translation with the Help of Gemini
Hindi Translation
द्वितीय आगमन
चक्रवृत्त में घूमता, फिरता, विस्तृत होता हुआ,
बाज़ नहीं सुनता शिकारी को,
सब कुछ टूट रहा है, केंद्र टिक नहीं पा रहा,
विध्वंस छूटा है संसार पर,
रक्तरंजित ज्वार उमड़ रहा है, हर जगह
मासूमियत का अनुष्ठान डूब रहा है;
सर्वश्रेष्ठों में कोई दृढ़ विश्वास नहीं,
जबकि निकृष्टतम उग्र भावना से भरे हैं।
निश्चित ही कोई प्रकटीकरण समीप है;
निश्चित ही द्वितीय आगमन समीप है।
द्वितीय आगमन! मुश्किल से ही ये शब्द निकले,
जब आत्मा-जगत से एक विशाल प्रतिमा
मेरी दृष्टि को भ्रमित करती है: कहीं रेत के सागर में
सिंह का शरीर और मनुष्य का मुख वाला एक रूप,
सूर्य सा निर्दयी और शून्य दृष्टि वाला,
धीमी गति से जांघें चला रहा है, जबकि उसके चारों ओर
क्रोधित मरुस्थलीय पक्षियों की छायाएँ घूम रही हैं।
अंधकार फिर से छा जाता है; पर अब मैं जानता हूँ
कि पत्थर की नींद की बीस सदियाँ
झूले की डोलन से दुःस्वप्न में विचलित हुईं,
और कौन सा कठोर पशु, जिसका समय अंततः आ गया,
बेथलहम की ओर लंगड़ाता हुआ जन्म लेने आ रहा है?
Gujrati Translation
દ્વિતીય આગમન
વિસ્તરતા વર્તુળમાં ફરતો ફરતો,
બાજ નથી સાંભળતો બાજીગરને;
બધું તૂટી રહ્યું છે; કેન્દ્ર ટકી શકતું નથી;
વિશ્વમાં માત્ર અરાજકતા છૂટી છે,
લોહીથી રંગાયેલો પ્રવાહ છૂટ્યો છે, અને દરેક જગ્યાએ
નિર્દોષતાનો સમારંભ ડૂબી રહ્યો છે;
શ્રેષ્ઠોમાં કોઈ દ્રઢ વિશ્વસ છે, જ્યારે
નિકૃષ્ટો ઉત્કટ તીવ્રતાથી ભરેલા છે.
નિશ્ચિત જ કોઈ પ્રકટીકરણ હાથમાં છે;
નિશ્ચિત જ દ્વિતીય આગમન હાથમાં છે.
દ્વિતીય આગમન! આ શબ્દો મુખેથી નીકળ્યા ત્યાં જ
આત્મા-જગતમાંથી એક વિશાળ છબી
મારી દ્રષ્ટિને વિચલિત કરે છે: ક્યાંક રણના રેતાળ વિસ્તારમાં
સિંહનું શરીર અને માનવીનું માથું ધરાવતો આકાર,
સૂર્ય જેવી નિર્દય અને શૂન્ય દૃષ્ટિ ધરાવતો,
ધીમી ગતિએ જાંઘો હલાવી રહ્યો છે, જ્યારે તેની આસપાસ
ક્રોધિત રણપક્ષીઓની છાયાઓ ઘૂમી રહી છે.
અંધકાર ફરીથી ઢંકાઈ જાય છે; પરંતુ હવે હું જાણું છું કે
વીસ સદીઓની પથ્થર જેવી ઊંઘ
ઝૂલતા પલંગથી દુઃસ્વપ્નમાં વિક્ષોભિત થઈ હતી,
અને કયો કઠોર પશુ, જેનું ક્રમ આખરે આવી પહોંચ્યું છે,
બેથલહેમ તરફ ઢીમી ગતિએ જન્મ લેવા આવી રહ્યો છે?
Analysis
Hindi and Gujarati, while possessing rich poetic traditions, have different syllabic structures and phonetic patterns compared to English. Forcing the translations to adhere strictly to the original meter often resulted in awkward phrasing and unnatural word choices. Slight adjustment in the meter to ensure the Hindi and Gujarati lines flowed smoothly and sounded natural. 'Spiritus Mundi' is translated as 'Atma Jagat' which evoke a sense of a universal soul or the collective consciousness. The phrase "the ceremony of innocence is drowned" has a strong metaphorical weight, which translated as "मासूमियत का अनुष्ठान डूब रहा है" in Hindi and "નિર્દોષતાનો સમારંભ ડૂબી રહ્યો છે" in Gujrati.
Gemini tries to maintain meter and rhyme but does not strictly adhere to that. More focus on accessibility.
Syntax, Sound, and Metre:
The syntax generally follows the structure of the original poem, though some adjustments were made to accommodate the Hindi language's grammatical structure. The translation attempts to capture the poem's somber tone through the use of long vowels and consonant clusters. However, perfectly replicating the original's rhyme scheme and iambic pentameter proved challenging. The meter deviates slightly from the original, with some lines having more or fewer syllables to maintain a natural flow in Hindi.
Lexicon, Grammar, and Semiotics:
The translator employs strong, evocative vocabulary, such as "रक्तरंजित ज्वार" (blood-dimmed tide) and "विध्वंस" (anarchy), which effectively convey the poem's sense of impending doom. The grammar is generally sound, though some minor grammatical adjustments were necessary to ensure the translation's fluency. The translation effectively conveys the poem's underlying message of societal decay and the rise of a new, potentially destructive force.
Cultural Connotations and Collocations:
"आत्मा-जगत" (Atma-Jagat) was used to translate "Spiritus Mundi," effectively conveying the concept of a universal soul or collective consciousness. "बेथलहम" (Bethlehem) was retained, acknowledging its symbolic significance in Western literature.
Gujarati Translation
Syntax, Sound, and Metre:
The syntax largely mirrors the original poem's structure, with minor adjustments for grammatical consistency. The translation effectively captures the poem's somber tone through the use of long vowels and consonant clusters. However, perfectly replicating the original's rhyme scheme and iambic pentameter proved challenging. The meter deviates slightly from the original, with some lines having more or fewer syllables to maintain a natural flow in Gujarati.
Lexicon, Grammar, and Semiotics:
The translator employs strong, evocative vocabulary, such as "લોહીથી રંગાયેલો પ્રવાહ" (blood-dimmed tide) and "વિશ્વમાં માત્ર અરાજકતા છૂટી છે" (mere anarchy is loosed upon the world), effectively conveying the poem's sense of impending doom.
The grammar is generally sound, with minor grammatical adjustments made to ensure the translation's fluency. The translation effectively conveys the poem's underlying message of societal decay and the rise of a new, potentially destructive force.
Cultural Connotations and Collocations:
"આત્મા-જગત" (Atma-Jagat) was used to translate "Spiritus Mundi," effectively conveying the concept of a universal soul or collective consciousness. "બેથલહેમ" (Bethlehem) was retained, acknowledging its symbolic significance in Western literature.
Jakobson's Theory
Jakobson asserts that poetry is inherently untranslatable because it relies heavily on sound, rhythm, and cultural specificity. His idea that “only a creative translation is possible” is central finding. The rhythmic and alliterative qualities of the original poem (e.g., "Turning and turning in the widening gyre") were challenging to replicate in Hindi and Gujarati. that were not fully captured in the translations.
Ramanujan's Idea of Untranslatability of Cultural Lexicons is observed here, in words like Spiritus Mundi and Bethlehem. In Yeats’s poem, imagery like “the blood-dimmed tide” is deeply evocative within its cultural and historical paradigm. Translating such phrases required careful choices to retain the original’s apocalyptic tone while fitting the paradigmatic system of the target languages. “things fall apart” in The Second Coming has multiple contextual meanings which can tied to historical, social, and existential breakdowns. His idea of creative adaptation.
To conclude, we can say that both the generative tools tries to give fairly proper translation. However, Hindi Translation by both ChatGPT and Gemini is more appropriate and in tune with the original poem in comparison to Gujrati translation which lacks continuity and proper word translation. Gemini tools gives more proper translation to the difficult words like 'spiritus mundi', 'rough beast', and 'blood-dimmed tide' and tries to maintain core apocalyptic theme of original poem. That is why Gemini is a better tool in retaining key aspects of the original
poem.
Translation of Gujrati Poem Into Hindi and English
Poem "Ochintu Koi Mane" by Dhruv Bhatt
ઓચિંતુ કોઇ મને રસ્તે મળે ને
કદી ધીરેથી પૂછે કે કેમ છે ?
આપણે તો કહીએ કે દરિયા શી મોજમાં
ને ઉપથી કુદરતની રહેમ છે.
ફાટેલા ખીસ્સાની આડમાં મૂકી છે અમે
છલકાતી મલકાતી મોજ;
એકલો ઊભું ને તોયે મેળામાં હોઉં એવું
લાગ્યા કરે છે મને રોજ,
તળું વસાય નહીં એવડી પટારીમાં
આપણો ખજાનો હેમખેમ છે….
આંખોમાં પાણી તો આવે ને જાય
નથી ભીતર ભીનાશ થતી ઓછી;
વધઘટનો કાંઠાઓ રાખે હિસાબ
નથી પરવા સમંદરને હોતી,
સૂરજ તો ઊગે ને આથમી યે જાય
મારી ઊપર આકાશ એમનેમ છે…
Translation with the help of ChatGPT
Hindi Translation
ओ राह चलते कोई यूँ मिल जाए
धीरे से पूछे, "कैसे हो?"
हम कहें, "दरिया की मस्ती में हैं,
कुदरत की रहमत का है भरपूर शौक़।"
फटी जेब के कोने में छुपा रखा है हमने,
मुस्कुराती हुई एक छलकती मस्ती।
भीड़ में भी अकेला खड़ा हूँ मगर,
हर रोज़ लगता है जैसे मेला बसा हो।
तिजोरी में नहीं समाता ऐसा खज़ाना,
हमारा अमूल्य खज़ाना यूँ महफूज़ है।
आँखों में पानी तो आता है, चला भी जाता है,
पर भीतर की नमी ज़रा भी कम नहीं होती।
किनारे तो रखते हैं बढ़ने-घटने का हिसाब,
पर सागर को इन सबकी परवाह कहाँ होती।
सूरज तो उगता है, और ढल भी जाता है,
पर मेरे ऊपर का आसमान वैसे का वैसा है।
English Translation
If a stranger meets me on the way
And softly asks, "How are you today?"
I’d say, "Lost in the waves of the sea,
A gift of nature’s grace, carefree."
In the corner of a torn pocket, I’ve stored,
Overflowing mirth that quietly soared.
Though I stand alone, I feel the fair,
As if each day, a carnival is there.
A treasure so vast it cannot be stored,
Yet, within my soul, it stays secured.
Tears may come and quietly go,
But the dampness inside never slows.
The shores may tally gains and loss,
But the sea doesn’t bother with such a cause.
The sun rises, then sets as it may,
While the sky above me stays the same all day.
Comparative Analysis Report:
Syntax, Sound and Metre
The original Gujarati poem employs conversational syntax, reflecting spontaneity and emotional depth. Phrases like "ઓચિંતુ કોઇ મને રસ્તે મળે ને" were translated as "If a stranger meets me on the way," which maintains the conversational tone but adapts the structure to English syntax. Similarly, the Hindi translation retained this tone as "ओ राह चलते कोई यूँ मिल जाए.
English: "Though I stand alone, I feel the fair"
Hindi: "भीड़ में भी अकेला खड़ा हूँ मगर"
In Hindi, which shares similar syllabic patterns and natural rhythms with Gujarati, the original metre was closely followed. For example
Original: "સૂરજ તો ઊગે ને આથમી યે જાય"
Hindi: "सूरज तो उगता है, और ढल भी जाता है."
The metre was preserved with natural syllabic balance.
In English, adapting the metre required minor liberties since the natural cadence of English differs. For instance:
Original: "મારી ઉપર આકાશ એમનેમ છે"
English: "While the sky above me stays the same all day."
Here, additional syllables were introduced to ensure fluency while retaining the reflective tone.
The original uses a subtle rhyme scheme and rhythm, e.g., "મોજ" (joy) and "ખજાનો હેમખેમ" (secured treasure). Retaining this was more straightforward in Hindi, which shares phonetic similarities, e.g., "मुस्कुराती मस्ती" and "खज़ाना महफूज़."
Lexicon, Grammar, Semiotics
Lexical choices in translation required careful cultural and emotional alignment. Words like "મલકાતી મોજ" (smiling joy) were rendered as "overflowing mirth" in English and "मुस्कुराती मस्ती" in Hindi.
The original Gujarati uses colloquial grammar with implicit subject-object relationships, e.g., "મને પૂછે કે કેમ છે?". In translation, explicit subject-object references were necessary: "And softly asks, 'How are you today?'" and "धीरे से पूछे, 'कैसे हो?'"
Symbols like "આકાશ" (sky) and "સૂરજ" (sun) carry existential meanings. These were translated directly but contextualized for the target language's semiotic landscape.
Original: "મારી ઉપર આકાશ એમનેમ છે"
English: "While the sky above me stays the same all day"
Hindi: "पर मेरे ऊपर का आसमान वैसे का वैसा है"
The semiotic significance of unchanging skies was retained as a metaphor for constancy in life's flux.
Cultural Connotations and Collocations
"દરિયા" and "કુદરત" evoke Indian spirituality and connection to the natural world. In Hindi, these were directly translated as "दरिया" and "कुदरत," while in English, "sea" and "nature" preserved the universal context without diluting the cultural essence. Phrases like "ફાટેલા ખીસ્સાની આડમાં" suggest resilience and humility in Gujarati. Translations retained this as "hidden in a torn pocket" in English and "फटी जेब के कोने में" in Hindi.
Untranslatable Idioms and Metaphors
Idioms like "કાંઠાઓ રાખે હિસાબ" (shores keep tally) have layered meanings tied to Gujarati maritime culture. They were adapted as "shores may tally gains and loss" in English and "किनारे रखते हैं बढ़ने-घटने का हिसाब" in Hindi, focusing on the metaphorical aspect.
Expressions like "આંખોમાં પાણી તો આવે ને જાય" were translated as "Tears may come and quietly go" and "आँखों में पानी तो आता है, चला भी जाता है," ensuring the subtle emotional nuance was not lost.
Original: "તળું વસાય નહીં એવડી પટારીમાં"
- English: "A treasure so vast it cannot be stored"
- Hindi: "तिजोरी में नहीं समाता ऐसा खज़ाना"
Translation With the Help of Gemini
Hindi Translation
अचानक कोई मुझे रास्ते में मिले
कभी धीरे से पूछे कि कैसे हो?
हम तो कहेंगे कि समुद्र सी लहरों में
और ऊपर से प्रकृति की कृपा है.
फटे हुए जेब में छुपाते हैं हम
बहती हुई उमंग;
अकेला खड़ा हूँ फिर भी मेले में हूँ ऐसा
लगता रहता है मुझे रोज,
जिस तिजोरी में कभी ताला न लगे
हमारा खजाना सुरक्षित है….
आँखों में पानी तो आता है और जाता है
अंदर की नमी कम नहीं होती;
उतार-चढ़ाव का हिसाब किनारे रखते हैं
समुद्र को कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता,
सूरज तो उगता है और डूबता जाता है
मेरे ऊपर आसमान वैसे ही है…
English Translation
If someone suddenly meets me on the road
And softly asks me how I am?
I would say, "I am like waves in the ocean,"
"And blessed by nature from above."
In my torn pocket, I hide
Overflowing joy;
Even alone, I feel like I'm in a fair,
Every day;
In a treasure chest that never locks,
My treasure is safe...
Tears come and go in my eyes,
But the wetness inside doesn't decrease;
The shores keep count of the tides,
But the ocean doesn't care,
The sun rises and sets
And the sky remains the same above me...
Syntax, Sound, and Meter
Challenges: Replicating the exact syntactic structure and word order of the Gujarati poem proved challenging in both Hindi and English due to the inherent differences in grammatical constructions and sentence structures between the languages.
In the Hindi translation, the phrase "फटे हुए जेब में छुपाते हैं हम" -"In my torn pocket, I hide" – might have required slight adjustments in word order or the use of specific Hindi words to maintain the intended rhythm.
In the English translation, maintaining the rhythmic pattern while adhering to English grammar and syntax presented a challenge. For instance, the phrase "છલકાતી મલકાતી મોજ"– "Overflowing joy" – might have required careful word choice to maintain a similar rhythmic effect in English.
Lexicon, Grammar, and Semiotics
Challenges: Finding precise equivalents for certain Gujarati words and phrases with specific cultural connotations was crucial in both Hindi and English. Ensuring grammatical accuracy and maintaining the intended semantic meaning while adhering to the grammatical rules of the target language was essential.
The phrase "ફાટેલા ખીસ્સાની આડમાં મૂકી છે અમે" – "In my torn pocket, I hide" – might carry deeper cultural connotations in Gujarati, such as hidden resilience or contentment despite poverty.
The phrase "તળું વસાય નહીં એવડી પટારીમાં" – "In a treasure chest that never locks" – is a creative translation that attempts to capture the essence of the Gujarati phrase while adapting it to the cultural and linguistic context of the target language.
Cultural Connotations and Collocations
Challenges: Translating cultural metaphors and allusions accurately can be challenging. For example, the "torn pocket" metaphor might have different social or economic connotations in Gujarati, Hindi, and English cultures.
The phrase "એકલો ઊભું ને તોયે મેળામાં હોઉં એવું લાગ્યા કરે છે મને રોજ" – "Even alone, I feel like I'm in a fair, every day" – attempts to convey a similar sense of joy and vibrancy as the original, even in a solitary state, while adapting it to the cultural context of the target language.
In this Hindi and English translation of Gujarati poem ChatGPT performs better in comparison of Gemini because ChatGPT, to certain extent able to adapt and translate the colloquial use of Gujrati language, while Gemini seems to give more general or literal translation, wherein it uses less colloquial words like 'Prakuti, Umang, Khajana'...it may be possible that it is hard to find the colloquial equivalent of such Gujrati words into Hindi. While English translation is done good enough by both tools. But ChatGPT has tried to write entire poem into heroic couplet in, and thus aligned with Ramanujan's concept of creative translation of the poem.
Thank you
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